"This message is for Zachary Ness. We are a collections company. Please contact us regarding your outstanding debts..."
I always call back and tell them I'm not Zachary Ness. (Which is probably exactly what I would do if WAS Zachary Ness.) But eventually I get another call, from another collections company, trying to chase down the rascal.
I don't know if he swiped my phone number off an old bill or something he found, or if he just fabricated it randomly and it happened to be mine. This afternoon I did a google search and found a listing for Zachary Ness in Mathews, Virginia, which is just up the road from Gloucester. I called the number but it was defunct, of course. I wonder if that was the guy, and now he's on the run? I also tried to contact this Zachary Ness on myspace to see if he might be the one.
Although I haven't seen the real Zachary Ness, I have done my best to reconstruct his image based on the information I have, such as his evilness (below).
So if any of you readers know this man, tell him to pay his stupid debts and to stop being such a fart-face.
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