Sunday, July 22, 2007

Walmart Does Metal

Last week I stopped by the huge Walmart in Gloucester County about 15 miles up the road from my abode. I needed to get ant poison. While I was there I saw a CD / DVD combo that I just HAD to have. It was an anthology of the halloween-flavored hard rock music of Rob Zombie, for only $9.99. I used to have two of his CD's from when he was in the band White Zombie. (White Zombie is NOT a racist band - I don't know why it has "white" in the name). I lost both of them through poor trading/lending to friends back in highschool. Anyway, I was nostaligic, so I picked up the CD. On the ride back, listening to the newly unwrapped gift to myself on the car stereo, I realized that the swear words were gone. All the good, rocking noise was still there, but there was only silence where Rob Z. used to growl something rhyming with "bucker". Darn Walmart censorship! When I got home I popped the DVD into the player. It was a bunch of music videos. I was hoping for a documentary taking an in-depth look at the man behind the spooky Rob Zombie persona, but I guess that would have been too much to ask for $9.99. The videos were alright until they got to the live-concert footage. I didn't notice what was wrong at first, but I could tell something was funny about the audience shots. Then I realized it. There were no nipples! The pectorals of numerous flashing female fans had been blurred into oblivion. What a disappointment.

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