Friday, February 15, 2013

"Seasonal" Blues, Windsurfing Race in Sarasota

I am starting to understand why Southwest Florida locals dread the so-called "Season." The Season, which could stand for Tourist Season, or for Wealthy Retiree Part-Time Resident Season, is INSANELY CROWDED.

Initially I was under the impression that The Season began around Thanksgiving, and back then I thought, "Hey, this isn't so bad. Yeah, there are a few more people on the beach, a few more grey-haired folks in the supermarket, and sometimes there's a bit of a wait at the popular restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night... but it's only a minor inconvenience."

The truth is that the REAL season doesn't start until after the Christmas Holidays. That's when droves of folks my parents' age and older TAKE OVER Bonita Springs. There is no day of the week, and no time of the evening that one can avoid an hour long wait for a seat in a restaurant. Worse, ALL THE PUBLIC BEACH PARKING AREAS FILL UP. Ironically, there are miles of nearly-empty beaches in the region, but they are impossible for peasants like me to access because they lie behind unbroken tracts of luxury private condominiums and seventh homes of (I presume) workaholic wall-street investors, NYC plastic surgeons, neer-do-well heirs and heiresses, and ex-wives of crooked republican politicians and corporate CEOs. The scant public beach lots, despite charging money for something that I believe should be free for everyone, are grossly undersized for handling the lemming-like herds of humans overflowing the land.

Sunday I faced the nightmare situation of driving back and forth for an hour within 8 miles of my house, being turned away from one beach lot after another. I was seething with Incredible Hulk-Like rage, furiously cursing the gods and the county planners, pounding on the steering wheel of my windsurf-laden minivan, when FINALLY I got a spot. I rigged a 9.5 and my formula board, and planed for about half an hour before the wind died and I had to go back home to spend the rest of the day grading papers and planning lectures. Ahh.


I propose a new law to resolve the beach parking problem. I call it the 50-50 law: If a beachfront home or condominium is less than 50% occupied more than 50% of the year, then it shall be BULLDOZED, and its flattened, pulverized remains will serve as a free beach parking lot for the commoners.

In happier news, I'm still living with the love of my life, my Valentine, Rhonda. (Swoon!) Our two dogs are healthy and behaving themselves. Florida Gulf Coast University now lets me drive their boats, so I've been able to get started on my own seagrass research in the Caloosahatchee River Estuary. Also, I'm getting psyched up for a Windsurfing Race next weekend (Feb 22-23) in Sarasota, Florida. It's the "Sarasota Winter Classic." There should be a wide mixture of young and old competitors, and serious and not-so-serious competitors. Also, there is free camping at the sailing site.

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My only dilemma is what competitive division to register for. In the most competitive Formula "A" Class I would certainly be left in dust, since my formula gear is out of date and my skills are rusty. I could sail my Exocet WindSUP in one of the longboard divisions, but that board isn't really meant for racing so I might get left in the dust in that division, too. Hopefully there will be enough other competitors in a similar situation to me that the race committee will be able to run the less competitive "Formula Sport" division. I'm not sure if any of the divisions will let you change boards depending on the wind strength, but what would be ideal for me would be to race on the WindSUP if the winds are too light to plane, and race on the Formula board if we get planing conditions. We'll see.


Frank said...

Hi James, Chia the Aztec superfood has an add on your website. Have you had any personal experience with chia? I realize you are a lot younger than I so you might not need nutritional help yet. Me, just trying to keep my windsurfing body going in retirement.

James Douglass said...

Hi Frank,

That ad sounds suspicious to me. I wouldn't trust anyone claiming that their product is a "superfood." I reckon just eating a balanced diet with plenty of vegetables and not too much sugar and fat is the way to go.

I never know exactly what might show up in the ads that Google chooses for my blog... Some of them might be good products, some of them are probably trash. If you find one that looks horrible, let me know and I might be able to block it from showing up again.


Just Danny said...

Hey all. I'm coming down to Sarasota long boat key to visit with my folks and I need to find a 155 liter board or something around that size. I'm going to bring a 9.0 and maybe something smaller but would like to find a board to buy or rent for a week. Anyone have anything? My email is Thanks

Just Danny said...

Or if not do you know where I should look? Thanks

James Douglass said...

Hi Danny- I don't know what the closest windsurf shop is to Sarasota. You'll probably have to google it. If you make it further south to the Ft. Myers / Naples area we can sail together.

Le Tones said...

In addition to the rest of your nonsensical ranting, I noticed your comment about grading shouldn't be teaching anybody anything. Jerk! I bet you have a wispy beard, wear wire rim glasses, and drive a suburu. What was your generalization about Republicans? You're pissing and moaning about the invasion of winter folks, cosmetic surgeons, expensive condos etc is so immature. Grow up and get a grip on reality. I lived and worked in a resort area/worked hospitality since before you were born. Elitist prick. When I was teaching rock climbing, winter mountaineering and sailing, I used to love making guys like you cry. There is room for us all and we all want the same thing, a few drinks, a little love, and nice time on the water.
No need to be an eletist local a hole. Your post was offensive, and I live here. Tony B.

James Douglass said...

Le Tones- I definitely took a ranting tone when I wrote this post, so I shouldn't be surprised that some people like you found it offensive. Also, I realize that my proposed solution of bulldozing unused mansions to make more public beaches is not very realistic economically since local governments feed off property taxes. However, I don't think that what I said is totally nonsense. I really do think that it would benefit both visitors and residents to have more public beach access. I'll take back my stereotyping of rich republicans if you take back your stereotyping of elitist professors. We shouldn't be mad at each other, because it seems like we both enjoy a lot of the same stuff in life. :)